Month: September 2013
Aside Posted on
Ever have those moments when you just want to quit?That’s how I’ve felt lately. Whoever said senior year of college was fun lied! Day after day the idea of getting a boat and sailing away forever sounds more and more ideal. You think I’m kidding too……I’m not! The fact of the matter is nothing good in life comes easy and running away from your problems doesn’t solve anything. Trust me I have tried. It doesn’t work. They always find a way of catching right back up to you eventually.
You see being a 21 year old female I get moody, cranky, happy, sad, doubtful, excited, nervous, stressed and many other emotions. I question myself. I doubt myself. I don’t give myself enough credit. I over-think and over analyze everything possible. I stress out. I get anxious. I smile. I laugh. And yes…sometimes I even cry as much as I hate to admit it. Sometimes all I really need is a hug and for someone to tell me “Meghan stop being ridiculous. You got this”. You see though….being in college and “on your own” there isn’t always someone there to do that. Sometimes you just have to tell yourself “stop you’re being dumb. You can do this”.
In times like these I have to stop and take a moment to reflect on why I am even here in the first place. I remember all my dreams and all the things I want to accomplish. I remember what I’m fighting for and why. I remember the future I want and hope so badly for. That is my motivation.
Times get rough sometimes. As my mom would tell me as a child when I fell down, ” you get up, brush yourself off, and keep moving”. A little tear here and there is okay but you can’t let a few scrapes or bruises keep you from your destination.
Nothing good comes easily. Sometimes you have to fight.
Why am I writing this rambling little post here? I guess it is just my way of getting out all I need to say and reminding myself I can do this. I am smart enough and I am strong enough.
As I said in the beginning, this blog is my way to express myself. A way to write when I can’t talk to people or have nobody to talk to. This is my way of releasing all my stress and anxiety so I’m not a crazy person.
You can do this Meghan. Take a deep breath and take it one step at a time.
I forgot to post one last week. Oh well. This music Monday is brought to you by the wedding I went to this past weekend. More stories on that later if I manage to survive the test I am currently studying my ass off for/stressing over.
This song was played for the first dance. I liked it a lot, so naturally it gets posted here.
Tim McMorris- Overwhelmed
And I am, over-whelmed, by you
Am, over come, with joy
You’ve, taken me higher, and shown me what love can do
Where would I go, or be, without you
I had mentioned before that I have 3 weddings to go to this year. The 2nd one is coming up this weekend. This wedding isn’t nearly as far of a journey as the last one. I merely have to drive one state up to North Carolina. Yet another one of my cousins are getting married. This will now be the 3rd one married and as I said the 2nd wedding (one eloped). I am exited for this wedding because 1) I will be reunited with my immediate family aka mom, step dad, sister. All whom of which I haven’t seen since early August. 2) I will be reunited with pretty much the rest of my family. My mom is 1 of 6 kids so I have a decent amount of cousins on that side alone. I believe most of them will be there too. I also get to basically “re-meet” two of my cousins since I’ve only met one of them once as a child and the other one twice. I’m pretty excited to see my cousin Matt. He is the one I’ve met twice. He is around my age and is in the air force. Last time I saw him I was maybe 17 or 18. Him, myself and my other cousin Jeff had a blast together. Yes, I am that awkward child that gets along better with my guys cousins over my girl cousins. Jeff and I are probably the closest.
It will be great to see my whole family again. I haven’t seen most of them in a couple of years now. My family is full of characters so when you put us all together in a room it’s always a good time. I’m pretty sure the last time we were all together (for the most part) was my moms wedding.
It is really cute to. My cousin Laura (the bride) has never been one to be super emotionally expressive. She has now had a countdown on her facebook for the past couple months counting down the days till she gets married. I love seeing how excited she is. Her and her soon to be husbands story is cute. It’s basically: They met and dated in high school for a while. Broke up when the went to college but kept in touch. Graduated college and met back up. They got jobs near each other and then decided to get married. The end.
It’s nice to know love wins in the end…..(sometimes)
So like every human I get frustrated with life…..clearly….but ultimately you cannot let the small stuff get you down.
I ran across this article via someone reposting it on facebook. Naturally, due to the title I was intrigued. The article completely surprised me, but it a good way. It gave me the pick me up I needed and reminded why I was here and what I was trying accomplish. I hope you all enjoy it too.
Well I really do suck. Disclaimer…. I didn’t do anything “bad”. I choose having fun over doing work for once in my life. I completely forgot I had work due at midnight and tried to make a BS excuse to my teacher and he completely called me out. I am so embarrassed. Call it nerdy problems if you want but I am embarrassed with myself. I always do my work on time. The fact that I completely forgot kills me. I have had such a stressful and crappy two weeks that I chose to go out and forget about my troubles for a while. Mistake made. You can’t run away from you troubles. It bites you in the ass regardless. Moral of the story is I suck and I pretty much hate myself right now. Doing well in school is going to get me where I want to be in life. I am not willing to throw that away. Time to refocus on what really is important and my goals in life.
You could say I’m in a cranky mood. I’ve been up and going since about 7:30 am. I’ve now been blankly staring at this screen in lala land for a good 5 minutes. I know I need to study more because I am nowhere near confident for my test or practical on friday. But, the want to just shut my brian off and stare blankly into space is currently winning. I thought my hell week from last week was over. Sadly, it just extended into this week. Friday COME FASTER.
I feel this photo pretty accurately sums up my life. Notes in front of me and miscellaneous food.
On the plus side…. almost 5 hours later… my phone is updated!! Woohoo ios7.
Now it’s time for the important decision. Do I keep studying, or do I sleep?!
September 18th, 2010
This day 3 years ago I was a freshman in college.
This day 3 years ago I was attending my first college football game with my friends and roommates
This day 3 years ago my life was about to completely change.
I just didn’t know it yet.
This day 3 years ago I met YOU.
You were just a boy behind me making silly comments. If you would have told me that the boy behind me in the bleachers was going to have such a significant impact on my life I would have never believed you.
I hope you never forget why you fell in love with me.
For now life has brought us in separate directions. I don’t believe this is the final chapter for us. Not at all. This is just a simple intermission. I look forward to the potential new chapter in our lives. Until that day I have to make some of my own dreams come true and have some adventures of my own. I know that you’re still always there for me if I really need you.
I would say chance brought us together but I would like to think it was fate.
The way I see it is if this is true honest love like I like to believe it is, then fate will reunite us one day.
If it is not true then we won’t be reunited.
It bears all things, believes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
Until that day