Month: March 2014

FRUSTRATED is the word of the day

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Today I am very frustrated by many many things. First of all, I am frustrated by the whole grad school thing. I want to emphasize that I am NOT upset. I am just frustrated. My family seems to not understand why I’m not an emotional wreck. So what!? I didn’t get in. I only applied to one program in the end and my field is a very hard and competitive one. I also came to the realization and acceptance that I was not nearly ready for grad school. Hell I’m already burnt out from school as is. Jumping right back into classes that are way harder than the ones I’m taking now… No thanks. I keep telling everyone I’m fine, which is the absolute truth, but yet everyone wants to throw a pity party. Stop please!!! I promise you I am okay! What frustrates me is seeing other people post on facebook and such about how they did get in to school. I think the biggest UGH moment was the post I just read from a kid from my graduating class. He just posted how he will be going on for his Phd next semester….. WHAT THE HELL?! Granted if I remember correctly he was our valedictorian. But still…….UGH!

 

Other frustrations include school and personal matters. I have a shit ton to get done in the next two weeks.  3 tests, a presentation, and a long lab report. Not to mention work, research, and all the other various obligations I have. Other frustrations include you… You know you frustrate me to no end. I appreciate the kind text from a few nights ago. It actually made my day when I saw it the next morning. But, when I reach out in return as requested and don’t even get an acknowledgement…. on two different times….that is frustrating. I don’t get you. Right when I think I do… I’m proved wrong yet again. 

 

Mehh, blah, ugh…. The frustration is real.

Oh yes. The job hunt is on also. Trying to figure out my life post grad and how I’m going to support my self is also extremely frustrating. Good thing I’m an obnoxiously persistent person. Maybe that will finally work for me. There is always a silver lining.

 

xoxo,

Meghan 

Ted Mosby

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Just like many other people, I am a fan of How I Met Your Mother. I am sad that tonight the series finally comes to an end. There was something about last weeks episodes that really stuck with me. It was two quotes from Ted. So here they are….

 

But love doesn’t make sense. You can’t logic your way into or out of it. Love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it, or else we’re lost and love is dead and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do.” 

 

Here’s the secret kids. None of us can vow to be perfect. In the end all we can do is promise to love each other with everything we’ve got. Because love is the best thing we do.”

 

The message I took from it is this: As Ted says over and over “love is the best thing we do”. I life gets hard. Love is confusing and is still something I’m trying to understand. When it comes down to it in the end though, love is the best thing we can do. 

Never stop believing and never stop loving. 

 

 

xoxo,

Meghan

Rejection 101 and future plans

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Well as you can guess by the title I did not get into grad school. It didn’t really come as a surprise though. Now comes the hard task of figuring out what to do once I graduate. I have ideas and plans…… as stated in previous posts. The problem is funding it. Places to live are expensive. Living is just expensive…. meh. Time to start doing some thinking and figuring this all out. Looks like I may be stuck at home for a while until I can find a place to live and the money to pay for it or I give in and find a roommate…

Hope

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Why hold on hope. I got an email about my grad school fate today. Sadly I was on a bus when I received the email so I wasn’t able to open it. You see I forgot my username and password to log on and to find out my fate. Honestly I don’t want to read it. I already know what it is going to say. A big fat NO. A few days ago I found a page I had missed before. It was a page with all the prerecs that my program wanted. I was missing at least four of them. That was when I realized I wasn’t ready or qualified for grad school like I thought I was. I guess I had this silly fantasy that everything would be easy and fairytale like from here out. I thought maybe all my dreams would come true. That is a sad joke. Life is only going to get harder from here and I’m only going to have to fight harder for my dreams. Nothing in life comes easy after all. I was silly to think that. I got that rude awakening a few days ago, hence my freak out in the last post. Whatever happens I know I can do this. I’m strong. I’ve been through much worse and made it out fine. I have a plan, although it’s not a sound plan, it is at least a plan. That is a start. I also know I have the love and support from my friends, family and honorary family members. I know they are going to help and support me on my dreams regardless. It’s a scary reality but it’s nice to know I still have people backing me up and supporting my dreams. It’s scary and I’m going to have to make a lot of decisions soon. I am an adult after all. I am 22 years old and I’ll be 23 this year. Time to grow up and take control of my life. Here I go. Wish me luck when I finally log on tonight and find out my fate

Xoxo,

Roaming Meghan

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!?! HELP

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That initial panic has set in. I found out I will find out if I was accepted into grad school or not next week. As of now I’m pretty sure I was rejected. I’m an idiot and just now came across a page of prerequisites for the program I am applying to. Turns out I’m missing some important ones FML……..I feel like I’m in way over my head here. I’m def going to have to go back to school for some extra classes post grad. I thought I had this all figured out and of course curve ball…… I’m wrong again. UGH WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!?!?!?! I’m just a tiny fish in the big ass ocean. UGH blah HELP!   

 

Maybe I wanna do what bunnies do

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don’t you worry, there my honey
we might not have any money
but we’ve got our love to pay the bills

maybe I think you’re cute and funny,
maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you,
if you know what I mean

Oh, let’s get rich and buy our parents homes in the South of France
let’s get rich and give everybody nice sweaters
and teach them how to dance
let’s get rich and build our house on a mountain
making everybody look like ants
from way up there, you and I, you and I, you and I,

well you might be a bit confused
and you might be a little bit bruised
but baby how we spoon like no one else
so I will help you read those books
if you will soothe my worried looks
and we will put the lonesome on the shelf

oh lets get rich and buy our parents homes in the South of France
let’s get rich and give everybody nice sweaters
and teach them how to dance
let’s get rich and build our house on a mountain
making everybody look like ants
from way up there you and I, you and I, you and I

oh, lets get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France
let’s get rich and give everybody nice sweaters
and teach them how to dance
let’s get rich and build our house on a mountain
making everybody look like ants
from way up there you and I, you and I, you and I

The waiting game

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Here I sit
Waiting and wondering
Waiting for my future to be made more clear
Waiting for an answer
Waiting for something to change
My life has become a waiting game
Waiting and wondering
Practicing patience
Waiting for my future to unfold
All I want to know is yes or no
All I want to know is will you jump
Will you jump blindly into this unfolding adventure with me?