Month: July 2016

Well …

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My BFF and I got super drunk with her parents so happy Saturday 

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Hi 

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Hi my name is Meghan and weird movies make me happy. 

Movies like :

  • 500 days of summer 
  • The way way back 
  • August Rush 
  • Alice in wonderland (Tim burton version)
  • Adventure land 
  • Garden state 
  • Wish you were here 
  • Uptown girls 

Meghan adults?

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On tonights episode of “I swear I am an adult”: Meghan consumes only wine, salad and tater tots for dinner. I mean the salad has to count for something rightt??(If we are being honest I’m probably only eating the tater tots….my appetite still isn’t back fully) I’m currently telling myself “NO PIZZA MEGHAN! Do not order pizza. You don’t have money. You just bought all these groceries…. NO PIZZA!!”

Anyways…………img_2815-1

I had this whole post I had thought of to write while I was sitting at work….icing my ankle (See photo). Naturally, I forgot everything that I wanted to write about. I mean at least I’m attempting to write more. That’s better than nothing right??

I want to write more but I really don’t have that many interesting things to write about. I am supposed to be resting after all. I think I’ll end up going to my parents this weekend. I don’t feel like sitting on my couch alone all weekend and essentially all of my friends around here are busy or out of town. My friends from home aren’t though! If all else fails I can sit on the couch with Bridget all weekend (see post below). This is one of the few times I wish I had roommates. I like living alone but sometimes it would nice to have people around. My brother-in-law is applying to jobs up here. I’m hoping he gets one so we can be roommates. We will see.

 

I don’t know. I have nothing else interesting to say right now. UHHHHH. HI guys?

I do need good netflix suggestions since I am just sitting and all. I tried watching “The Unbreakble Kimmy Schmidt” but I couldn’t get into it. What are you guys watching right now??

 

-M

Bridget (for Paul)

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Here you go Paul.. I couldn’t pick just one picture.

My best buddy Paul is doing this cool thing were he writes letter to people on his blog. I get to be his first victim  friend to get a letter. He has also so kindly agreed to write a letter to my dog Bridget. This is funny because Paul isn’t a fan of dogs. Bridget and I are eagerly awaiting your letters Paul!

 

Check out Paul’s blog and maybe he will write you a letter too.

Paul: captainsspeech

Ankle 

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You know…. Just some fun pics of my ankle being bad

Where has Meghan been????

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Oh hiiii. I’m here. I haven’t been writing for two main reason.

  1. I hurt my ankle pretty bad about a week and a half ago. I finally went to the doctors today and got it looked at. It luckily isn’t broken, but I’m on rest and am rocking a big old brace for the next two weeks. WOO………. My half marathon training has been put on hold for now. I’m worried I won’t be prepared in time, but I’m going to keep trying. As much as I hate to just sit, I am going to listen to the doctor and do my best to lay low and rest it. BOOOOO. The whole “big brace” things is also slowing me down. It was the brace and rest for two weeks or wear a boot for who knows how long…….Naturally I chose the rest and brace.
  2. I haven’t been doing that well mentally/emotionally. It started off with bad anxiety right around the time I hurt my ankle. It ended up in me having a mini emotional break down and running away to my parents house the previous weekend. Last week I struggled A LOT. I went through the whole array of emotions. I was sad, angry, happy , angry , anxious and then sad again. I just felt like I had zero control over my emotions. Like I said, I was struggling. I am lucky to have great friends here though. They really helped. Last Thursday I hit the lowest low. I woke up feeling so incredibly sad. I just wanted to cry and it felt like I have bricks on my chest. I got to work and nearly had an anxiety attack. I texted Carly, Not BoyFriend and NBF’s roommate. (NBF’s roommate is a good friend of mine who also has anxiety and depression issues). I threw my phone in my desk and went on a walk to calm myself. I got myself to a calm place and went back to work. I checked my phone a few hours later and saw that everyone had answered me almost instantly. I had texted NBF “I could really use someone today”. If you know anything about me you know that admitting I needed someone/ help is extremely hard for me. He was absolutely incredible. He came over and somehow how to convinced me to eat (something I had barely done all week). He sat there with me and held me. He made me feel safe and happy. He slowly urged me to talk. I didn’t want to at first. I told him that there were a million and one things going on in my head and I didn’t even understand it all. His responded by saying ” well we don’t have time to talk about a million and one things but we do have time to talk about at least one thing. Pick one thing. It can be the smallest thing and try to talk to me about it”. After a few minutes of me just making groaning noises, I finally found my voice. I talked. Talking was hard. He sat there and just held me tight. When I cried he hugged me even tighter and kissed me. We stayed up talking until I laughed again and I fell asleep with him hugging me tight. I am grateful to have him in my life. We have a long way to go but he really stepped up last week and showed me he meant it when he said he cared about me and would always be there.

I am happy to report I am back to smiling and am happy again. All my problems aren’t solved but sometimes all I need is someone to hug me and tell me I’m not alone in this fight. Sometime  I let the monsters in my head win, but I’m happy to know that I have friends to help bring me back to reality. Sometimes breakdowns make you stronger. I believe that it did for sure. My main focus now is healing my ankle so that I can get back to soccer and running. Let’s hope these two weeks of rest do the trick.

On a completely unrelated note… I got an unexpected text Saturday. I got a text from YOU. This was the first contact we’ve had since before I moved here over a year ago. If anything I was surprised and confused. Other than that I didn’t feel anything. I wasn’t going to answer him initially. I ended up answering today.  The convo was short and sweet.It can be summed up as both of us saying that life is weird and we hoped that each other were doing well. That was it. The end.

 

So life has been a little weird lately. What else is new. How has everyone else been? I swear I’m going to try to write more. I mean I’m basically ordered to sit for the next two weeks so I should have some time…..

 

xoxo,

M

 

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“Maybe there’s a God above

But all I’ve ever learned from love

Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya

And it’s not a cry that you hear at night

It’s not somebody who’s seen the light

It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah”