Today my anxiety has been horrible. I woke up in a bad mood and I couldn’t shake it. I let myself get upset over something little. A complete misunderstanding. I thought I was fine but my chest has been tight all day. I decided to give my mom a call to just take my mind off of things. I don’t know if it was talking about how my sister was being a massive B this week that triggered it but something did. I could feel myself starting to convulse. That urge to hyperventilate suddenly hit me. I made up an excuse to get off the phone and jumped in my empty bathtub and proceeded to have an anxiety attack. That is now where I currently am still curled up while writing this. Why I picked my bathtub I don’t know. It seemed like a safe space and somewhere my roommate wouldn’t hear me.
I haven’t had a full blown attack like that in years. I was able to stop it within a few minutes luckily but it still happened. Ugh. I thought I had gotten past this. I thought my days of curling up in a ball crying and hyperventilating were over.
If you’ve never had a panic attack or anxiety attack I hope you never have to. They are miserable things that are hard to control. I thought my medicine was working pretty well but I clearly need to look into that if this happens more.