Month: October 2017
I just recently tweeted
“I can’t deal with life right now” if I could actually finish that tweet without society condemning me I would say. “I’m can’t deal with life right now. I’m dragging myself so I can sleep.”
No. Don’t worry. I don’t use kind of “hard drugs” or “real drugs”. My level of abuse, if you you even call it that, are drugs to make me sleep. I like to sleep. I can escape the real work for a while and sleeep.
If it sounds like I’m in a dark place I guess I kind of am. I’ve been dealing with a lot lately. I was in a “relationship” of shorts this summer and I fucked it up because I can communicate and share my emotions. Since then, I have been working hard to confront the “skeletons in my closet” and the “baggage” that has been holding me back. To say it has been easy would be a lie. It has actually been an extremely painful process. I’m doing this so one day maybe I can be open to and able to experience the love that I deserve. The truth is right now, I’m not ready. I hope one day I can be.
Wow this post got dark. Don’t worry guys. I’m on medicine and I’m seeing a therapist. I might be slightly crying while I type this on the metro. And I hate myself for that, but I’m trying this new thing where I own my feelings and embrace them. It’s not fun but it’s something I need to do.
I’m done rambling goodnight guys.